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Public Service Announcement

Washington Post: "Americans can again order free rapid coronavirus tests by mail, the Biden administration announced Thursday. People can request four free at-home tests per household through covidtests.gov. They will begin shipping Monday. The move comes ahead of an expected winter wave of coronavirus cases. The September revival of the free testing program is in line with the Biden administration’s strategy to respond to the coronavirus as part of a broader public health campaign to protect Americans from respiratory viruses, including influenza and respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), that surge every fall and winter. But free tests were not mailed during the summer wave, which wastewater surveillance data shows is now receding."

Washington Post: “Comedy news outlet the Onion — reinvigorated by new ownership over this year — is bringing back its once-popular video parodies of cable news. But this time, there’s someone with real news anchor experience in the chair. When the first episodes appear online Monday, former WAMU and MSNBC host Joshua Johnson will be the face of the resurrected 'Onion News Network.' Playing an ONN anchor character named Dwight Richmond, Johnson says he’s bringing a real anchor’s sense of clarity — and self-importance — to the job. 'If ONN is anything, it’s a news organization that is so unaware of its own ridiculousness that it has the confidence of a serial killer,' says Johnson, 44.” ~~~

~~~ Marie: I'll be darned if I can figured out how to watch ONN. If anybody knows, do tell. Thanks.

Washington Post: “First came the surprising discovery that Earth’s atmosphere is leaking. But for roughly 60 years, the reason remained a mystery. Since the late 1960s, satellites over the poles detected an extremely fast flow of particles escaping into space — at speeds of 20 kilometers per second. Scientists suspected that gravity and the magnetic field alone could not fully explain the stream. There had to be another source creating this leaky faucet. It turns out the mysterious force is a previously undiscovered global electric field, a recent study found. The field is only about the strength of a watch battery — but it’s enough to thrust lighter ions from our atmosphere into space. It’s also generated unlike other electric fields on Earth. This newly discovered aspect of our planet provides clues about the evolution of our atmosphere, perhaps explaining why Earth is habitable. The electric field is 'an agent of chaos,' said Glyn Collinson, a NASA rocket scientist and lead author of the study. 'It undoes gravity.... Without it, Earth would be very different.'”

The New York Times lists Emmy winners. The AP has an overview story here.

New York Times: “Hvaldimir, a beluga whale who had captured the public’s imagination since 2019 after he was spotted wearing a harness seemingly designed for a camera, was found dead on Saturday in Norway, according to a nonprofit that worked to protect the whale.... [Hvaldimir] was wearing a harness that identified it as “equipment” from St. Petersburg. There also appeared to be a camera mount. Some wondered if the whale was on a Russian reconnaissance mission. Russia has never claimed ownership of the whale. If Hvaldimir was a spy, he was an exceptionally friendly one. The whale showed signs of domestication, and was comfortable around people. He remained in busier waters than are typical for belugas....” ~~~

~~~ Marie: Oh, Lord, do not let Bobby Kennedy, Jr., near that carcass. ~~~

~~~ AP Update: “There’s no evidence that a well-known beluga whale that lived off Norway’s coast and whose harness ignited speculation it was a Russian spy was shot to death last month as claimed by animal rights groups, Norwegian police said Monday.... Police said that the Norwegian Veterinary Institute conducted a preliminary autopsy on the animal, which was become known as 'Hvaldimir,' combining the Norwegian word for whale — hval — and the first name of Russian President Vladimir Putin. 'There are no findings from the autopsy that indicate that Hvaldimir has been shot,' police said in a statement.”

New York Times: Botswana's “President Mokgweetsi Masisi grinned as he lifted the diamond, a 2,492-carat stone that is the biggest diamond unearthed in more than a century and the second-largest ever found, according to the Vancouver-based mining operator Lucara, which owns the mine where it was found. This exceptional discovery could bring back the luster of the natural diamond mining industry, mining companies and experts say. The diamond was discovered in the same relatively small mine in northeastern Botswana that has produced several of the largest such stones in living memory. Such gemstones typically surface as a result of volcanic activity.... The diamond will likely sell in the range of tens of millions of dollars....”

Click on photo to enlarge.

~~~ Guardian: "On a distant reef 16,000km from Paris, surfer Gabriel Medina has given Olympic viewers one of the most memorable images of the Games yet, with an airborne celebration so well poised it looked too good to be true. The Brazilian took off a thundering wave at Teahupo’o in Tahiti on Monday, emerging from a barrelling section before soaring into the air and appearing to settle on a Pacific cloud, pointing to the sky with biblical serenity, his movements mirrored precisely by his surfboard. The shot was taken by Agence France-Presse photographer Jérôme Brouillet, who said “the conditions were perfect, the waves were taller than we expected”. He took the photo while aboard a boat nearby, capturing the surreal image with such accuracy that at first some suspected Photoshop or AI."

Washington Post: “'Mary Cassatt at Work' is a large and mostly satisfying exhibition devoted to the career of the great American artist beloved for her sensitive and often sentimental views of family life. The 'at work' in the title of the Philadelphia Museum of Art show references the curators’ interest in Cassatt’s pioneering effort to establish herself as a professional artist within a male-dominated field. Throughout the show, which includes some 130 paintings, pastels, prints and drawings, the wall text and the art on view stresses Cassatt’s fixation on art as a career rather than a pastime.... Mary Cassatt at Work is on view at the Philadelphia Museum of Art through Sept. 8. philamuseum.org”

New York Times: “Bob Newhart, who died on Thursday at the age of 94, has been such a beloved giant of popular culture for so long that it’s easy to forget how unlikely it was that he became one of the founding fathers of stand-up comedy. Before basically inventing the hit stand-up special, with the 1960 Grammy-winning album 'The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart' — that doesn’t even count his pay-per-view event broadcast on Canadian television that some cite as the first filmed special — he was a soft-spoken accountant who had never done a set in a nightclub. That he made a classic with so little preparation is one of the great miracles in the history of comedy.... Bob Newhart holds up. In fact, it’s hard to think of a stand-up from that era who is a better argument against the commonplace idea that comedy does not age well.”

Page Links

Monday

Dec242012

The Constant Weader Takes a Break

... To Do Some Serious Seasonal Research ...

In Her Annual Survey of

The Worst Christmas Songs Ever

She Keeps Finding Worse Ones

Nice outfits, Twisted Sister, but a little less percussion would have been more evocative of the carols we children used to sing in school back in the day schools had Christmas pageants:

This maudlin entry is Newsweek's nomination. The group is NewSong, a Christian "rock" group. One of the singers, Eddie Carswell, wrote the song all by hisself, based on a chain letter. Kevin Fallon of Newsweek has the story for anyone writing a paper on the history of shlock. I could not listen to the song all the way through:

BUT Patton Oswalt listened for me and explains the logic of the song's narrative. He includes this theological exegis: "I died for your sins, but those pumps are unforgivable":

... Sorry, John Denver, "Christmas Shoes" beat out your perennial favorite "Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas."

Apparently Lady Gaga is an acquired taste. It's difficult to imagine a more salacious "Christmas carol":

Mariah Carey gives it the old college try, but doesn't come even close. The implied pedophilia is a nice touch, though:

Speaking of kids, in case you thought you were missing something by not knowing squat about boy groups -- this video should reassure you you're way better off. I keep forgetting how totally talentless these kids are. And they told us the lip-syncing Monkeys were bad:

Really, Madonna, how could you? (It's an awful song, but Eartha Kitt at least knew what to do with it):

Somehow I don't think Clarence Carter was really into the spirit of the season (out of an abundance of kindness, I'm not embedding Jon bon Jovi's version of "Back Door Santa":

Bob Dylan's "It Must Be Santa" is so bad I run it every year, & now I've come to enjoy it, albeit in a perverse way:

AND to make up for all that, the best bank commercial in history -- produced by the Banc Sabadell & performed in Plaça de Sant Roc in Sabadell, a town north of Barcelona. Thank you once again, Ludwig:

... Contributor James S. recommends ...

... That's Clyde McPhatter & the Drifters.

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Reader Comments (9)

This would be my favorite xmas song, although the bank commercial is pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddVZOK_9UUI

December 24, 2012 |

James Singer

A therapist friend from Eugene, OR has a refinement on the NRA position: she would like to see a teacher in every gun shop.

December 24, 2012 |

Calyban

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat,
Please to put a penny in the old man's hat;
If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do,
If you haven't got a ha'penny, god bless you!

"By mid-century, the process of embourgeoisement was well underway. Within a very few decades, the holiday would be sanitized and feminized, leather aprons and muddy boots would be supplanted by waistcoats and crinolines, the people out of doors would be disbanded, reformed and brought to the domestic hearthside. It would be possible to dwell on the class blinders of the bourgeois Christmas. American Christmas cards, unlike their English counterparts, lacked any references to contemporary poverty. The American Christmas carols that proliferated between 1840 and 1880 (“It Came Upon a Midnight Clear,” “We Three Kings,” “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and others) emphasized mythic resonance rather than social realism, as in the English “please put a penny in the old man’s hat.” Americans, according to Restad, preferred “music that resonated with the strains of American optimism and avoided the mire of history and social condition.” When they were confronted with the mire, they stepped nimbly aside. Consider Frank Woolworth, the department store king who made a fortune selling glass tree ornaments. On a buying trip to Lauscha, Germany, he threaded his way through the “dirty hovels” where the glassworkers and their families lived eight to a room. He was disgusted, but otherwise unmoved."

http://www.tnr.com/book/review/piety-and-plenty-commodification-of-christmas

December 25, 2012 |

PD Pepe

Re; In the Spirit; Twisted Sister; documented proof, girls dig guitar slingers.
If Mommy had health care maybe she could recover and enjoy the shoes but Jesus is against welfare as all you fundies know.
Lady Gaga; nice party, save the humpback whale.
Mariah Carey; hey; leave that kid alone. Nice costume though.
Madonna; hey; leave Santa alone. Why are you always dancing with five guys?
Clarence; dude, this goes along way to explaining why the Clauses don't have children.
Mr. Dylan; I still want an invite.
Merry Christmas to all.
It's what you give not what you get.

December 25, 2012 |

JJG

Thank you. I sent a link to the Ode to Joy flash mob/ad to the Community String Project. Imagine 3rd - 8th graders playing violins, cellos, violas and basses as a flash mob. In just a few years we have over 90 children (and a few adults to help fund this endeavor). Bristol has a wonderful Christmas celebration. It would be perfect. Again, thank you and have a good holiday.

December 25, 2012 |

Dede C

Can't say I agree that "O Come All Ye Faithful" is one of the worst Christmas songs. Unless you mean version. (-:

No "Buzzy, the Christmas Bee"? "Here Comes Peter Cotton Claus"? "Merry Christmas, You Suckers"?

December 25, 2012 |

Raul

"Christmas Shoes" is an update of a common pop ballad type from the 19th century--the most famous antecedent, possibly, is the Lightning Express, recorded by any number of people, including (to make the proper Boomer reference) The Everly Brothers. Such songs date from a period when dying mothers, drunken fathers, dying children, etc, were part of ordinary existence.

Here's one version of the Lightning Express lyrics: Please, Mr. Conductor. Recording-wise, check YouTube, where they have the Everlys, plus (probably) early 1900s recordings. Paging Vernon Dalhart.

Same bit as Shoes: poor kid, kindly conductor/customer, sick or dying mom, poor father (or none at all), act of charity. These socially-conscious pop songs were all over the place, losing their hipness c. 1920s, when such tunes became "folk" and "country" fare. Which is to say, people have been declaring themselves too sophisticated for dying-child/Mommy-going-to-the-angels lyrics for a good 90 years.

I realize Fallon's piece is mainly a fundie-bashing op, but didn't he stumble over any research in his research?

And, Kevin, Christianity is mainstream. Maybe not yours, but part of the collective version.

December 25, 2012 |

Raul

@Raul. It is sort of dismaying for me to take off one day a year & be criticized for what I thought was just fun -- twice. On Christmas, yet. I don't blame you for thinking I should be more consistent & do the same ole same ole 365 days (well, 366, this year) a year, & it is reasonable to expect that a person who is not a musician and/or a musicologist should keep her tastes in music to herself.

So next year if you want to do some "worst Christmas music" -- or something else -- let me know & I'll turn the site over to you. I give up.

Marie

P.S. Yeah, I think it's pretty tasteless to purposely butcher traditional Christian music, particularly pieces that make it into hymnals & are thus part of Christian masses. "Adeste fideles" was probably the only Latin clause I knew the meaning of when I was 8 years old. (My father did tell me that when he was an altar boy he thought the phrase "Dominus vobiscum" meant "Dominick, go frisk 'em," as it was said before the offertory, but I don't think he told me what "Dominus vobiscum" actually meant.) mmb

December 26, 2012 |

Marie Burns

@Marie, I wasn't criticizing you or your departure from script. I'm not even sure this was a departure from script, given Kevin Fallon's predictable send-up of sentiment. As I noted, there's a long pop history of treating dying-mother, pathetic-orphan songs as unacceptably corny. I was simply citing Fallon for doing no research, for making false claims about the originality of a song as conventional as "Christmas Shoes," which presses all the country/country gospel buttons and is virtually a rewrite of a famous "old-timey" song.

I can't help doing fact-checking on a topic--pop music history--I find so important.

As a chronic site-lurker, I'm used to the ritual teasing of anything sentimental or pop-religious, esp. come the holidays. There are sites devoted to it, if not a whole Internet culture. As a result, I've become interested in the history of that shared practice--curious to discover why we label sad songs as "wrong." What I've discovered is at least a century-long trend, though it's likely older. In the early 1900s, at least, it was a rejection of 19th-century pop culture, just as we ritually ridicule all things Ozzie and Harriet.

Banishing sentiment is a repeating ritual, part of the process of pretending we've grown up, culturally, that our parents were hopelessy out of it, that people of the recent past were too dumb to tie their shoes; etc. The point being, that rebelling against the norm is the same ritual each time it forms; only the generational backdrops change. We'd be a different species if we didn't junk the past on a regular basis, or if we ever became too conscious of the fact that, in doing so, we're of one with that past.

December 26, 2012 |

Raul

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